Masters of the WWE Universe is back! Kind of. If your Walmarts are anything like mine, they're in a constant state of being picked clean of any and all wrestling figures that are interesting in the slightest. I can't imagine they would bring it back for just one series, though. Mark my words, there's definitely going to be a Danhausen dressed as Skeletor in the near future. In the meantime, the original run has a robust selection of sword and sorcery sports entertainers to build out your roster.
Kane debuted at Badd Blood: In Your House in the fall of 1997, interfering in the inaugural Hell in a Cell match between his estranged brother the Undertaker and Shawn Michaels. In the following years the Devil’s Favorite Demon had his story modified and retconned so many times WWE once published a fiction novel in an attempt to tie it all together. But initially the story was that Kane was badly burned in the funeral home fire that killed their parents and had been kept locked away by Paul Bearer as a secret weapon should he and Taker ever be at odds. Silent, sadistic, and with the ability to summon fire, Kane was a masked monster that instantly captured my young imagination.
…eventually he would roll a wheelchair-bound Zack Ryder off the Raw stage and electrocute Shane McMahon’s testicles with a car battery, but this was way before that.
MOTWWEU splits the difference between “wrestler in a MOTU setting” and “wrestler mashed up with a MOTU character,” and Kane is the latter, taking his cues from Roboto. Because Kane’s nickname was The Big Red Machine. This is also why he beat up Pete Rose at three consecutive Manias! His stark red and black color scheme looks great on a MOTU body. His limbs are robotic, and like Roboto, he has interchangeable weapons for his right hand. He doesn’t include Roboto’s axe hand, but he can accept any of the weapons from Roboto or Metal-Boto, but not Trap-Jaw, so no “See No Evil” hook. He additionally includes an effects piece that plugs onto the end of his blaster, turning it into a flamethrower! His hair fades into translucent fiery orange, another reminder of the fire that killed his parents and scarred him. Psychologically.
Kane didn't often sport the two-sleeved look. Most memorably, it was when the Undertaker was posing as Kane, and thus needed both sleeves to cover up his tats. The modularity of MOTU Origins is a big help here, because you can just plug in any bare arm with a black wristband and have a more standard looking Kane. He's still got robot parts and orange eyes, though. Because of this figure, the Superstars release came in his reversed colors/primarily black suit. So I guess if you want a truly basic Kane in MOTU style, you're out of luck. You'll just have to settle for one of the hundred other Kane figures from the last thirty years.
Kane’s rookie figure was released toward the end of 1998, and it was the one wrestling figure above any other I really wanted for Christmas that year. I did, in fact, score him (and a bunch of others) courtesy of my awesome mom, and it was the best Christmas ever. So maybe that’s why I feel such a strong nostalgic pull to this guy, despite not fitting with the era I’m focused on for this line, and despite Glenn Jacobs becoming something of a villain IRL. Although his character has still done worse things, like sexually assaulting a dead cheerleader, or an alive Lita. Glenn would probably agree with forcing a rape victim to incubate a demon baby, though. What are the odds of getting a Gene Snitsky figure? About the same as Nailz?
